Taken--though I'm not sure where or why.
Last night my friend Mark was lamenting to me the availability of gay men here in Northern Michigan; there are great numbers of profiles for men looking for men up here on all the popular gay network sites--Manhunt, Gay.com & Adam4adam--just to name a few. Why, he was wondering, do men take the time to fill out a profile, post a picture or two and visit the sites, when the majority of them express no interest in meeting other men or even pursuing anything with another guy? Between the two of us, we can throw out quite a few handles of men that are in relationships (and supposedly contentedly committed and therefore off the gay market), a number of profiles that are suspiciously copy-cat in nature and more than a few that possess pictures so old that one wonders why in the age of 8mp cell phone cameras its so difficult to provide new images... Both of us are single and attractive, yet it seems that everyone we meet is either coupled (and actively seeking a third or fourth or more) or closeted or can not be bothered to respond back in any way after an initial conversation. Gay friends, oh sure, we have quite a few of those, but it seems that our observations about gay men in Northern Michigan are universal. 15 years ago when I was at university, if I wanted to meet other gay men, I simply went to any of the coffee shops in town, ordered an espresso, propped open a book and waited, sooner or later conversation would ensue with someone. If coffee was devoid of interesting men, I could always go to the bar or fire up gay.com on my computer and venture on. It seems that men were more social back then, less afraid to have a conversation or share something about their life. Flash forward; the coffee shop still holds its allure, but I've a better chance of meeting someone on the other side of the world as I type on my Mac then I do of striking up a casual conversation, gone too are the men in the gay bar, much easier to tap the Grindr app on one's smartphone and find exactly what you are looking for, no conversation required. And gay.com? Perhaps if they'd just stuck with their easy to use format and stopped the tweaking, we could actually find each other. I don't mean to whine or sound bitter, but where have all the gay men gone (and where are all the gods?) and when are they coming back? Mark suggested we cast our circles further & cancel our Manhunt accounts; I'm sure there's wisdom in his words.