I wonder is there's an index to Cosmo issues; to my knowledge none of us ever read the story in full. I'd like to know who they got to research the piece and whether or not they consulted a cross section of the population. I also wonder if you can tell from the first taste of precum whether the current beau will be acerbic or buttery? Is this like the first taste of wine? Should I sweep these few drops all around my tongue to gauge what is yet to come? (Hmm, there's a pun there.)
I wonder also if that issue of Cosmo dealt with consistency; unctuous or fluid and how to remedy either... Should I take note of whether he has an affinity for double whiskies with his bar of 85% cocoa or gently simmers his pineapple and papaya in Swiss butter? Is there a questionnaire that I can photocopy and hand out to prescreen? Perhaps I can conduct tastings, soliciting volunteers from the local university. Interesting to think what that booth would look like--Folsom Street Fair comes to campus. I wonder if I could use the Cosmo logo, perhaps solicit help from a few friends and one of the local sororities. Folsom meets Girls Gone Wild meets Haze Him meets...all in the name of scientific study.