I met a guy recently that told me he was interested in having a purely sexual relationship; I told him that I was okay with that, but that it was a two way street.
"Two way street?," he asked.
"Yes. If it's just sexual for you, it is for me as well. I don't need a text message at 3 in the afternoon telling me that you're missing me. I don't need a phone call asking me how my day was. I don't want to meet you for coffee so you can tell me what's new in your life. I know that I won't be calling or texting you for any of those reasons."
It might have been harsh, but I felt the need to lay out the ground rules from the outset. Don't get me wrong, he's an attractive guy and all, but a fuck and three minutes of improvised conversation do not a speed date make.
Two hours after I'd met him and we'd fooled around I got a text message. I didn't reply. The next morning I got another one. I still didn't reply. Ditto later that afternoon, later that evening and the next morning. I then got an email via a gay social site I use. I can sum the communications up thusly: I'm thinking about what a great time we had and hoping that you're having a good [insert time of day here].
Four days and quite a few texts later I sent a note of reply asking what he wanted. "I thought maybe we could hang out," was his reply.
"Hang out?" I asked.
"You know, grab a beer, watch a movie or something."
"You want a purely sexual relationship. And to hang out. No thanks."
"I'm bored. Why not?"
At this point I decided that I was not going to reiterate my original thoughts. Friends and fuck buddies do not mix; if you need assistance figuring out which you are, chances are you're neither.